A Game of Numbers
by HopelesslyLonelyWriter
Summary: Just hours removed from the Battle of Crait, Finn counts what they have left...and also what they've lost. Rey isn't satisfied with his conclusion.


**Just hours removed from the Battle of Crait, Finn counts what they have left...and also what they've lost. Rey isn't satisfied with his conclusion.**

* * *

Two pilots. Eleven infantry. Seven commanders. Three mechanics, one of them wounded. Two Jedi. Three families of Porgs. All aboard a single Falcon.

Finn can't help but think that the numbers would be a bit kinder had one of those two pilots been dead right now.

No battering ram? The base stays intact. Dozens more survive. Rose gets to walk on her own two feet again. The downside? One more dead pilot. That's it. That's all that happens. Who loses?

Poe says that everyone would've lost a good pilot. But the four pilots that died on Crait probably wouldn't agree. Something about the last twenty hours must have made it difficult for Poe to connect on a personal level with him.

Leia tells Finn that he still has an important role to play. Maybe she knows more than everyone else. Or maybe she just doesn't want the morale to dip any lower that it already is. Either way, it's clear that she isn't content with the amount of impact her words were having. No one can possibly blame her for it.

Rose can't answer that question, because she still hasn't woken up yet. Without the medical equipment from their ship, there was no way to accurately assess the severity of her injuries. She'd probably say something similar to what she said after the crash. That it was more important to save what you love, rather than kill what you hate. And Finn would tend to agree with her on that. But there were those who loved the other Resistance members, and Rose would likely be among them.

Finn wonders what Holdo or Ackbar or someone more eloquent than him could say. Well, he assumed they were more eloquent. He had hardly even met them.

"Poe says she saved your life. Is that true?"

They're the first words Rey speaks to him since Starkiller Base. Or at least, the first ones he hears.

"I was about to take out their battering ram. She bumped me out of the way."

"Please thank her for me…when she wakes up."

"Does that mean you won't be around to say it yourself?"

"No…it's just…I'm sure it would mean more…coming from you."

Finn looks down and realizes he's been absent-mindedly stroking Rose's palm. He pulls away.

"She's good soldier. A friend."

He redirects his gaze from Rose's blanket back to Rey.

"We just met…what…twenty-four hours ago? It's not…like that."

There's a poignant silence, and both of them take notice of the fact that it's quite dark in the side room of the Falcon.

"It's almost a little bit funny, actually," he says.

Rey gives him a puzzled look.

"When I woke up, the Resistance ships were doomed. I tried to flee with the tracking device. I kept telling myself it was to save you. But…"

He can't finish.

"What, Finn?"

He shakes his head.

"You can tell me. It's okay."

"I just…wanted to save myself. I was the same coward I was on Jakku. Rose…she stopped me from running away again. And as soon as I try to own up to it all…to give it all for the Resistance…she wouldn't let me do it."

Finn takes a deep breath.

"I wanted to die there. I wanted to die, so that I could save the Resistance."

"Finn…"

"We'd have at least a dozen more men alive. And a few more ships, too. Don't tell me that I'm worth more than that. You can't-"

"You are." Rey says bluntly.

Finn squints his eyes.

"You're worth far more than anyone else on this ship, myself included."

"Don't…don't talk like that, Rey. You-"

"Do you know what you are? The spark, the spark that General Leia always talks about? It's you. It's you, Finn. You're the proof that anyone can turn from the dark to the light. You rejected the evil ideology you were taught and you saved us. You saved Poe Dameron. You saved this Resistance. _You saved me_."

"I-I…I'm sorry, Rey, I didn't….I-I'm so sorry…"

Rey embraces him. It takes no time for him to return it. Finn can feel the ducts of his eyes growing heavy.

How long has it been since he last cried, he wonders? Has he ever cried?

It didn't matter.

* * *

It takes a few minutes for the both of them to cool down. Finn uses a finger to wipe the remaining water from this right eye.

"I was told that Chewbacca had a message for me?"

"Oh, yes…there was a message…"

"You mind relaying it to me yourself?"

"I think you already know it."

"Do I?" Finn teases.

"You know, now that I think about it…you probably don't remember our first kiss."

"Our…what?"

Rey lightly punches his shoulder. "I'm messing with you. It was just on the forehead…"

"I'll take what I can get…Miss Jedi."

"Please never call me that again."

"I think I deserve one free one for each day you were on that island with Skywalker"

They both chuckle.

The game of numbers was now a bit less harsh, Finn realized.


End file.
